Homura Might be Going Crazy
by darkbeetlebot
Summary: [Wraith Arc] Homura writes in her journal about a strange occurrence from the night before. May have OOC. I guess it's technically a mystery, but more mild humor. First person. Might be a liiiiittle dark.


_**Disclaimer: I haven't actually read the Wraith Arc given that it's mostly still untranslated and I'm a lazy bloke. Thus, I will only be loosely referencing popular events that occurred, and the rest is speculation and wishful thinking.**_

 _ **With that said, please enjoy this abomination of my over-active imagination.**_

* * *

Kyouko is a surprisingly good friend.

I say this because the night before today, we had stayed up at my apartment to play Dragon Quest and drink "the forbidden juice" together. Don't ask me how we played Dragon Quest cooperatively.

Actually, that was pretty much the only thing keeping me sane back during the looping period. It sucked that I had to start a new save every time, so I ended up just stuffing the console into my shield to preserve progress. Ended up beating almost every game in the series that I could fit in that thing.

I wonder if Madoka would like Dragon Quest. She _is_ the type who likes to read, so RPGs would probably be "right up her alley", so to speak.

Kyouko is absolutely terrible at RPGs. She has no sense of strategy whatsoever and just tries to overpower everything, which got us killed at several key battles. It was pretty annoying, but a good time-waster. I thought she was supposed to be good at games, but I guess it's only action ones that really count. I still have yet to match her at DDR, but that's beside the point.

Oh, right, I was talking about this morning. Anyways, it turns out that something happened last night which shouldn't have. I say this because I woke up with a headache, which doesn't usually happen. I also awoke to find her gone, which is odd since I thought we hit it off.

And I mean off, not on. Kyouko is nice, but I don't like her like that. Not as much as Madoka, anyways. Though, if I had to choose a second option for any reason which couldn't be remedied in any way and was completely out of my control, I would choose her. Sayaka may have the figure, but she's an aggressive bitch. She's also dead.

Mami is too busty. Stupid cow-tittied woman needs to share with the rest of us. Not to mention that it would feel like taking advantage of her fragility. I didn't have many qualms in doing so to further my goals in the previous timelines, but I can't redo this, so I've compromised to not manipulate people for my own enjoyment.

It's for the better.

Where was I? Kyouko was gone this morning, right. I instinctively went to my journal for clues. Everyone calls it a diary, but I would like to stress that it is nothing like that. This is a perfectly legitimate and impersonal record of current events that they should nonetheless stop trying to read because it is very annoying.

When I looked in the journal, I expected to find neatly organized paragraphs of the day's events. I did find that, but only until I flipped to last night. It would be an understatement to say it was messy.

No, this was nothing less than the utterly arcane scribings of a complete lunatic who had finally lost it and drove themselves into an eldritch fit of madness that only the likes of Lovecraft himself could candidly and succinctly describe. However, I am not Lovecraft and cannot do any such thing.

Essentially, they were poorly scribbled pages upon pages of random thought strings not-so-evenly written in varying sizes of font that described imaginings which I never knew any of us - much less myself - had. Well, that's half of a lie. I recognized a few, but the rest seemed to be completely random and nonsensical.

Not only were there mad ramblings everywhere, but there were also pictures. Well, more like magical graphs. Glyphs and geometric conglomerations which currently make no sense to me whatsoever, but probably would if I repeated this incident while sober. Somehow, I don't think that will happen.

Amongst all of the meaningless drivel and interesting-yet-creepy drawings throughout, what I found most intriguing was the last set of pages. The last one to have words on it was relatively normal for this outburst, except for the fact that it had a _highly_ skilled drawing of madoka superimposed upon it. Not as if the text were written after the drawing as a narrative, but as if the image were just pasted on as an afterthought. I couldn't read anything within it and could barely even see the drawing itself amongst the copious amounts of graphite smearing across the page.

However, what got me most was that the next 15 pages were just repeated images of Madoka in a similar pose as the first. Only when I quickly flipped through them that I realized it wasn't just repeated images, but an animation. A flip animation, specifically. Very simple, just her going from neutral to smiling. I don't know why it's there.

I've ripped the pages out and placed them in a secure and locked container. I won't detail exactly where as they should not be seen by eyes besides mine ever again, but I will study them for further clues as to what happened last night. This is given that I didn't learn much from the others.

After investigating my journal, I had taken to my normal schedule of getting ready for school. With the addition of going out and buying plenty of headache medication. For some reason, Madoka saw fit to spawn me in this world with a lot of money. I won't say how much, but it was quite a lot.

Either that or I unconsciously and somehow successfully robbed a bank again. That is a possibility I am willing to consider.

When arriving at school, I immediately noticed that something was off: Mami and Kyouko were avoiding me. Mami had a reason since she was in a totally different part of the building. Kyouko, however, is in our class and was still being rather cautious around me. I didn't see her on the roof during lunch, and eventually tracked her down to the ground level, just outside the front door.

I tried to open with a joke. She always called me a stick in the mud, and I always noted that she ate sticks in mud. I hadn't realized the double entendre and only intended it as a slight towards her partiality for Pocky. For a while, she thought I actually wanted her to eat me. That was an awkward period.

This was also an awkward period. My attempt at opening with a joke (which I will not repeat for the sake of my own dignity) ended up making her nearly drop an entire soda in her lap and look up at me in bewilderment. It was the most horrible and depreciative joke I have ever told, to be honest. It was quite mean.

After recovering from that in as smooth a manner as I could manage, I just directly asked about what happened last night. She never did answer. All she did was give me a _look_. The type of look you would give someone who just raped a dead animal. A look of utter disgust, but also pity. A very large amount of pity. It's as if I had revealed some horrible secret that nobody needed or wanted to know, and now both parties regret it.

At that point, I recall thinking to myself, "Wait, shit."

They already thought I was crazy. Kyubey didn't help in repeatedly insisting on his hypothesis that I had a mental condition. Of course they don't understand. How could they? It's only me. I'm all alone in this, the last person in the world to understand the ways of old. The only one to understand how the universe really works, how causality functions and how the ways of old were. I could only hope that one day they would realize how unbelievably lucky they are, and they will _grovel_ to the feet of their one true goddess while I stand by her side and judge them for the rest of eternity for their sheer arrogance and stupidity.

I'm getting ahead of myself again. None of this is related to the predicament. Directly asking Kyouko what happened wasn't going to work. Instead, I pulled out my symbolically depressing bow and threatened to shoot her pathetic-looking face if she didn't tell me.

You may criticize my lack of tact and the fact that I threatened to shoot one of my supposed friends, but I remind you that I was very impatient at this point in time and didn't feel like wading through the melodramatic bullshit anymore. They already thought I was crazy, so this is just "playing to character".

Of course, she immediately freaked out when I pulled it on her. To be honest, I wish I could have pulled out my custom Desert Eagle on her, but that doesn't exist anymore.

Just like Madoka.

And now I'm depressed again. Wonderful.

Making the best of a bad situation is the strong suit of exactly nobody in this group. The only one who could do that was - actually, I'm gonna stop thinking about that.

Regardless, she didn't react too calmly. We ended up having a quick skirmish in front of the school wherein several windows were shattered and I got nothing in return for the trouble.

But to be honest, she didn't exactly seem thrilled to be fighting like usual. She didn't say much of anything throughout the ordeal and just ran away in the end. I decided to see if Mami knew anything about what happened.

I should note one thing of interest: During our match, Kyouko mentioned that I should "get help" in her own words. Perhaps it's the life-sized statue of Madoka that I had sitting beside my bed, or the wall-sized tapestry, or even the boundless collection of drawings of her that I made in my spare time and pasted around my desk. Maybe one of those made her think of me like that, but then I remembered that both her and Mami had seen my apartment before.

Additionally, I don't see their point. If one of them had endless merchandise from an anime they loved, all over their room, I wouldn't bat an eye. But _noooo_ , I can't have anything like that or I get labelled as a lunatic with an imaginary girlfriend that happens to also be the god which all magical girls now subconsciously worship.

Fuck me. Metaphorically.

So I went to Mami since trying to converse with Kyouko wasn't going anywhere. When I asked her if she knows what made Kyouko avoid me, she merely said, "We're never letting you touch that stuff again."

I assume she meant the "forbidden juice". It's then when I surmised that I probably got completely face-smashed and suplexed off of a bridge, then did something very regretable. This much is clear.

In order to clear my conscious and one very sub-optimal result off of my checklist, I asked her, "Did I touch her?"

The response was immediate. "God, no!" she exclaimed to me in sheer horror at the thought. She added, "I know you're into girls, but no! Just go ask her."

Informing her that I already did so, she suggested that I bribe her with some sweet treats. She handed me some change and I gleefully took it despite the fact that I have too much, already. I don't even feel sorry for it. She should know that I have a lot, by now.

Then again, I did use a lot of that buying illegal firearms such as my beloved PTSR-41 Simonov anti-tank rifle, Boomy. Boomy is a very nice gun, but the other two are afraid of her. Say it's "too dangerous to keep around the house". Well they can go fuck themselves, I love Boomy and nothing is going to stop me from shooting witches wraiths in their old, stupid, ugly faces with it. Especially the one that turned into Madoka. Fuck that one in particular.

Anyways, I went and bought her like, seven huge bars of chocolate. Didn't find her until later that day, but her face when I dropped all of it on the floor in front of her was priceless.

Following dropping them, I said, "Are we even?"

She didn't answer as she was too busy being dumbfounded and scrambling to the floor to save her precious food from being trampled. We eventually got to talking after some minor banter.

It was a lengthy endeavor, but she eventually gave me what I was looking for. Apparently, I ended up going completely nuts that night when the drinking got heavy. Started ignoring Kyouko and scribbling something in my journal in the most creepy way possible. That explains why it was messy.

What it doesn't explain is why there were creepy, arcane drawings and Madoka all over the pages. I asked her about that, and she simply called me "completely fucked up beyond repair".

I punched her in the face for that.

I punched her again when I realized that it was also a slight towards Madoka. I won't say my methods are the best or most friendly, but they _are_ very satisfying.

I should also clarify my opening statement. Kyouko _is_ indeed a good friend, but I never said that _I_ wanted to be her friend. One thing I wish Madoka would have realized when sending me down to this once-forsaken planet again is that I don't care about these two.

At least if Sayaka were here we'd have some dramatic potential between her and Kyouko, but no: It's just me and these two horribly tense bitches. Both of which are actually incredibly boring when you get down to it. All they do is bake, drink tea, and play games in their spare time. Not even affectionately, they're actually both incredibly distant for people who live together. I would even hesitate to call them friends, just roommates.

Everyone says that one is the loneliest number, but I find that three is far more damning. Two people can be a couple, one is just a loner who has more freedom than worries, and four is a tightly-knit group of friends. But three? Three is odd. It's what causes third wheels. It's like tacking onto the couple, but the couple doesn't exist in this case. It's just three mild acquaintances who should be closer but aren't because all of them are disfunctional. It's boring.

I mean, even five is better. At least then you have at least one guaranteed couple and one person you may get along with. Three is quite literally the only problematic number in this particular scenario.

Just kill me already. Deliver me from this hot garbage fire of a hell and just END THE SUFFERING. Having to deal with this uneventful, inane bullshit every day is literally worse than being stuck in an infinite recursion of time that is nothing _but_ suffering. I should have turned that shield when I had the chance. Maybe then I would have at least lost my mind in a more dignified way.

Anyways, our conversation stopped right about there. It seemed I wasn't going to get any more out of her, so I simply left and went home early. School can't do shit about it, I don't even have parents.

So if befalls me to look through this journal to find the rest of the clues as to what happened last night. I should summarize this before going off on another completely necessary tangent, so here we go.

It seems that in my drunken stupor, I ended up retreating to my den and pretending that Kyouko didn't exist for the majority of the night. When I had finally finished, I was so completely destroyed that she was sober in comparison. She was definitely not literally sober.

I then went off on a rant about how terrible everything is and the world as a whole wasn't worth even existing except for Madoka's sake. Then, when inevitably pestered by Kyouko thinking I'm crazy, I broke down and accidentally revealed that I was in love with a girl who she didn't even believe existed in anyone's mind but my own. So to her, a fictional character from a dream that only a madman would have and insist is real. Except that it is and I am not debating this any further.

In the heat of the moment, the emotional outburst invariably caused her to become uncomfortable and leave early. I did notice that morning that my DS was dead, and I never leave it off the charger enough to die. Poor thing must have been on all night.

Of course, this still doesn't explain the arcane drawings. Perhaps I'm just a drunk genius and don't understand these notes when sober but can perform unfathomable feats of magic when inebriated. Or they could just be meaningless scribbles like half of this garbage.

Regardless, I have finished my theory. I will rest for tonight after the wraith hunt and return to them with my findings tomorrow. They have yet to actually call me about tonight, so I have no clue of where we're meeting up.

Actually, now that I think about it, I should just skip tonight and sleep off this still-pounding headache. I'm never listening to Kyouko's idiotically rebellious ideas again.

All I'm left wondering is where Kyouko got the alcohol in the first place.

* * *

About yesterday: They told me I was half correct. Never told me which half, however...


End file.
